suckiness*

2009-10-27T21:52:00.001+08:00

I've changed my blog! Its sad but oh wells.. time for a change.

Relink.

redpjs.tumblr.com

2009-10-15T21:38:00.002+08:00

I can't get you out of my mind Boy.
I keep rambling on about you to my friends.
Sometimes I wish that there's going to be something more between us.
Sometimes I hope you make that move.
Sometimes I hope you do not give me any more suspense.
I jump, I smile, I giggle *in the gatal way* whenever I get your text.
Is this the way I should feel?
I feel like a 5 year-old girl given candy too.

You got me stuck

2009-10-10T13:42:00.002+08:00

A year older, nothing much is different. Everything seems to be the same to me. Only thing is that I'm legal. Is that something to be happy about? I wonder.

Birthday celebrations was great.
Greatly appreciated with all the wishes from everyone.

I had a nice surprise from my previous class. I didn't know they were celebrating my birthday and they bought a cake for me. Nice chocolate cake, but well it was smashed in my face. And I mean all over my face. But I really appreciate everyone for coming down to celebrate it with me. It may be small, but its the thought that counts.

Spend some time with My 2 lovely girls, if only Titi and Ain was there. But well.. It was fun too.

I had a moment of break down for a while at city hall.

At night headed my way to city hall, I had another surprise. With 18 red roses, a bracelet and a chocolate cake. It was a nice surprise. Thank you.

When I got home, I was surprise again by family with another chocolate cake.
3 Chocolate Cakes. How fattening. But nice.

Well, I celebrated my birthday with my aunt and cousins too. With a brownie cake. something different.

No words can describe how I felt on that very day. 7th October.
Thank you.

xoxo.

2009-10-06T23:49:00.002+08:00

Eighteenth!

Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to Idayu!
Happy Birthday to me!

18 Baby. :)

Wishlist: To be a good Daughter, Sister, Friend, Girlfriend.

Thanks for all the wishes. I cant reply to all. But I appreciate every single one of it.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

xoxo.

2009-09-30T23:13:00.003+08:00

Ok. This is a very long ago post. I was suppose to write it. But totally terlupe. Anyway... as I said I did something totally new to my hair. And well I permed my hair. I was psycho-ed by nisa and shirin. My two lovely girls. I swear they're the funniest and the best. They psycho-ed me to do my hair. and anyway my hair was like a mess and I hated it. The new havent sink in to me yet. cause it's my first time with curly wurly hair. Oh lol.

The End product. It was so curly. I was shocked I swear. I almost wanted to cry. cause it seems so new to me and I wasn't totally confident of curly wurly hair. But well I guess it looks nice now. I think...

Well I enjoyed my day with you girls. More dates to come. and thanks for your 2 hours of company, sitting beside me taking stupid pictures and making noise and playing games to entertain yourselves. I appreciate it a lot. Thank you! :)

2009-09-27T22:53:00.005+08:00

Raya Day 1.

That's my mom's family. A small but tied bonded family.

My crazy little cousins. And they're not little anymore.
1st day of raya is always the same. Lontong eating at my granny's place then off to some of my mom's relatives and then to my dad. Its like a routine. And it gets better each year.

Well, I got no raya pictures for day 2 cause we didn't go out. But relatives came over.

And I've yet to get my pictures from my dad's side form my cousin. Now that's like a ton of pictures. I like! Wait and see! :)

2009-09-27T22:11:00.000+08:00

I want a great writer to jump into my body, figure me out, write about who i am, how i feel, and then read it to me.

2009-09-25T23:08:00.002+08:00

Damn, I'm inspired now.
Thanks to Bimbo.
But i'll think it's a good step. Woo hoo!

And anyway....
I did something to my hair. well it havent sink in properly to me yet. Cause it's totally a different hairstyle for me. Which I never do before. Something first. and I will only show it when i take a nice proper new hair pic! :)

2009-09-24T00:50:00.000+08:00

I’m afraid to say “I love you”, because everytime I say it, there’s less meaning in it then the time before.

2009-09-24T00:03:00.000+08:00

I want Eighteen Red Roses.

Won't it be nice?

2009-09-22T22:45:00.000+08:00

I'm so comfortable with you. You have this weird affect on me. But i like it.

2009-09-22T17:14:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it feels like I'm nowhere in anyone's heart.
Maybe it's just me.
Well, in case no one know,
when I have friends, I treasure them hell lots.
I probably don't show them much,
because at times, I don't know how to,
call it egoistic,
but I mean when I said,
I never want any of you to walk out of my life.
And likewise, I'll always be there, for all.

Thank God there's my family and cousins and friends whom I could count on this Raya,
it wouldn't feel so lonely then. :)

I miss you best friends.

2009-09-21T14:31:00.004+08:00

Happy Eid to all Muslims.

Wow, fasting month is gone just like that. There are so many things I want to do during the fasting month which I've yet to do. Right now, all I want to focus on is Raya. With all the longtongs, raya money, visiting, high high heels and dressing up. Lol.

Okay, this is random. But i love Katy Perry. Just look at her. I love her make-up. Even my mom, say she's pretty. Gosh! and with her long curly, straight, bob and whatever hairstyles she got. She look amazing.

I want this eye colour.

Okay, right now. I'm going to learn the make up tips and learn on how to do it on my eyes, lips, face. Get that nice bronzer look.

Tips anyone?

I'll try to make it possible for you. But no promises made. I'm sorry.

2009-09-16T01:12:00.002+08:00

I hate this feeling now.
And I'm hating myself for this feeling.
You're stuck in my head.
I'm down.
I'm crying my eyes out for you.
Don't you get it?
You're stuck in my head.

2009-09-14T16:48:00.002+08:00

Okay. I've thought of changing my blog to onsugar. It just sounds nice. like www.somethingsomething.onsugar.com. Doesn't it sound nice. Hehehe. Okay.. right. I'm still lsot about it anyway. So i'll take my time to change it.
Well.. I finally cleaned my room and cleared out all my secondary school books and notes. I actually feel sad. All my 5 years of hardwork is gone. The pressure and stress of studying. All the nonsense bullshit stuff i write. and my most outrageous grades. hahaha.. All the memories in secondary school. How I miss it. I do. with the nosense stuff i get from my class. Lifting up skirts, shouting at the top of their lungs, sleeping during and after class, sneaking food into class and make the whole place messy. well, girls can jsut be like guys. Hahaha. lol. I miss all of it.

Okay, as you can see. I currently got no idea what to write. and im just rambling on. Stop this nonsense idayu.

2009-09-12T23:02:00.005+08:00

"When someone loves you, the way he says your name is different. You know that your name is safe in his mouth."

Personally, I never actually experience real true love. So when I googled, this phrase came up. And it was calling out my name. (Ok, merepek) But it's nice isn't it?

Have you ever felt as though you think doing something so right can actually scares you?
Have you ever felt as though taking a huge step can lead you to somewhere nice?
Have you ever felt as though being love and cared for is the best feeling ever?

I've always been that person who is scared to do something and make something out of being friends with someone. I've always been someone who is sheltered by her comfort zone when it comes to these things. I've always been someone who shuts people away when it starts to get serious. So, right now. I don't wish to be that someone anymore. I want to take charge of it and not be scared. Friends tell me, I should take that step and move forward and not shut people away from my life anymore.

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

I enjoy talking to you Mr Merepek. :)

2009-09-10T15:56:00.003+08:00

Kiss on the hand means… I adore you.

Kiss on the cheek means.. I just want to be friends.

Kiss on the chin means… You are cute!

Kiss on the neck means… I want you.

Kiss on the lips means… I love you.

Kiss on the ears means… Let’s have some fun.

Kiss anywhere else means… You’re the best.

2009-09-08T16:03:00.001+08:00

I've been wearing my new heels in the house the whole day today! I'm a happy girl! :)

2009-09-08T14:42:00.006+08:00

Okay. Let me update some of the dates I had.

Tuesday-1st Sept.

Went out with my Bis. It was a usual last minute planning but it will always turn out prefect. Being with them, just brighten my day and night. Spend some window shopping time with naz and everything there seem so tempting to buy. But no, I didnt spend. Hehehe. Sha wanted something traditional but there was no something traditional at marina so we headed off to buke at pizza hut. Our all time favourite date place. There's tons of memories at pizza hut. From after school lunch dates with them, to running out of school and eat pizza hut dates. Heheh. So as usual we spend our buke sessions at pizza hut. I miss them still. But we did some catching up after so long.. Sat down near esplanade and talk.
And Bis, you girls are not dark. The secret is sunblock. Lots of sunblock. Remember that I always use that on my face. Hehehe. Ohh. And Soya Bean. I love you just the way you girls are.

Thursday-3rd Sept.

Went out with my dear cousin. Been a long while since I met her. The last time I met was to only teman me to vivo to get my phone from repair. And again it was a last minute date with her. Current mood on that day was frustrations. Tired of guy drama. So hence, thats why we went out. I jsut needed some girl time with her. I know if there's anything I need or do, I can always fall back on her. So we had some girly cousin time. Lol. Headed to far east and window shop. Spend some long hours there while waiting to buke. So we buke-d at far east cahaya. Nice. Then I do not know what came on to us. We decided to head down to geylang. Just to feel the meriah-ness of raya I guess. And when I went there, I was disappointed. I wanted to hear raya songs all over the place. But no, I heard some indon band song called wali-cari jodoh. Hello?!?! It's call a raya bazaar for some reason. And then while walking for a while I finally heard some raya songs. Okay, then I was happy. Lol. I didn't know that walking in flip flops can really tire your feet out. At the end of the day both our feet are tired and sore, maybe from all the walking. How kesian. Then we chill-ed for a while and headed home. Merely tido-ed all the way home.
I love you dear cousin. 18 years together and counting.

Saturday, Sunday-5th & 6th Sept.

Well practically spend some time with family. Lots of time with family. I miss them. I do. I miss my mom's cooking. As usual she was busy with work. so she hardly cooks and I only get to eat her delicious food on weekends. Yummy. Had some laugh moments with family and also I had to finish my chores. More to come. Sadly. Ohh. But I got 2 new shoes from mom. Sandals for school and Heels for raya. I'm a Happy girl! :)

Monday-7th Sept.

Planned a day out with my two dear girls, Shirin and Nisa. Ironically I wouldn't know this two fun amazing girls without my best friend Jalil. I wouldn't think in the world I would be good friends with my best friends girlfriends. So spend some time with them. And again it's amazing and fun. All the shirin is always in her own small little world. While me and nisa just look at her. Had some catching up with them. Talk and merely open up about stuffs. I love the date I had with them. But then again walk around far east and then buke-d at puncak. Yummy! And I got no idea why I was so thirsty the whole night. Heheh. More dates with you girls soon. And when your boyfriends are back let's go out all togther like last time and go raya-ing. Sorry for the position of picture. I was too lazy to change it. hehe :)

Tuesday-8th Sept.

Spend a day alone at home cleaning out my room. And played dressing up. heheh. Lol. I love my clean room. :)

I realise I have a lot of girl dates. Hahaha. That's how much girl company I have. And I love every one of them. Maybe now I need a guy company. *Hint* .....
Okay, this is quite a long post. Wow. well enjoy!

2009-09-04T22:13:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wondered why the only one that warms your heart best had to be the one that smashes it best too?

2009-09-04T20:35:00.003+08:00

You want all my love
and my devotion
You want my love and soul
right on the line
I have no doubt,
that I could love you, forever
the only trouble is
You really dont have the time

You've got one night only
one night only
thats all I have to spare
one night only
lets not pretend to care
One night only
one night only
come on, big baby come on
one night only
we only have till dawn

I'm proud of my friend Tabitha Nauser. She did good. Okay and now im addicted to the song. I'm making a promise to myself that it's time to revamp myself. I'm showing you people a new Me. Lol. I'm serious.
1. Do my hair.
2. Yoga and Pilates.
3. Take care of my skin.
4. Start back doing something I love.
5. Get rid of the negativity.

This is a first for me to actually doing something good for myself. I'm proud. I'm practically pampering myself for the first time. This should be done before I turn 18. :)

oooh. I got a new shopping list.
1. New jeans.
2. Skirt.
3. Maxi dress.
4. Bomber jacket.
5. More dresses.
6. New school shoes.
7. More accessories.
8. Proper heels.

Ok. thats about it. I think. Heheh.

2009-08-31T17:48:00.002+08:00

But tell me does she kiss 
Like I used to kiss you 
Does it feel the same 
When she calls your name 
Somewhere deep inside 
You must know I miss you 
But what can I say, rules must be obeyed

Well, have you ever had that feeling of regretting your mistake of letting someone you love dearly go? Have you ever thought if you just hold on a little more, there'll be something more to it? Have you ever thought that if you give the relationship time and patience, you'll see the fruit that bears from it?
Well, I think I know I have. I do. I have that moment. And that's the past. This is the future.
Right now, all I need is some answer that whatever I'm doing right now is right. I just need a sign and some reassurance. Please Allah, show that to me.

2009-08-31T17:06:00.006+08:00

Ever since holidays started, I've been a movie junkie. I've watched many many many many movies.
Yes, I love it. And as you can see, I'm a big fan of korean movies. I actually watched 5 korean movies. Hahaha! I'm a huge sucker for that. And yes, as you can see there's no horror movies. Only one, and I did not watch it alone. I watch it with friends. I suck at watching horror movies alone. Cause I'll just be covering my eyes while watching and only 1/4 of my eyes will watch it. and I'll put the volume down so I wont hear the eerie sounds. Told you. I suck at watching horror movies. Hehehe. And well I am a girl, and I love chick flicks. Just out of boredom. And it's really nice! Go watch. I have got no idea how many times I've watched Mamma Mia. I think it's my 2374896 times watching it.But every time I watch it, I get the same emotions watching it.It still gives me that excitement or even that thrill from watching it.

2009-08-30T23:17:00.000+08:00

I miss dancing.
I do. I do. I do.
I really do.

2009-08-30T17:17:00.002+08:00

Beauty and the Geek.

I just watch the show. And I think its a good show to tell people about not judging a book by its cover.
Well, have you ever seen a not-good looking guy on the streets and just ignore him?
Have you ever met a nerd and thought he was boring?
Have you ever thought of even being friends with someone who lacks the same interest as you?
.......
Seriously, stop.
I'm stopping too. I'm not going to judge a book by its cover anymore also. I'm going to treat each one as how they should be treated. I'm not going to just think that nerds are boring and dull. When actually they look cute with those geeky specs and the books. They make some guys seem intellectual. And most definitely that's what girls go for. Intellectual guys.

Maybe now I can find my geek.

2009-08-30T00:27:00.002+08:00

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too

High enough for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
High enough for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
out of this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'

A new song addiction. Hehehe. Holidays can really bore me. Damn. I need dates. I need my girls.

2009-08-30T00:02:00.001+08:00

If you love something let it go,

If it comes back to you it's yours,

If it doesn't, It never was.

2009-08-28T16:03:00.002+08:00

Look at how bored I am. After finishing my chores, I was inspired to lose weight and get that toned body I want for a long time! It's my new 18th year-old goal. Hahaha. Okay, nonsense. But whatever! If it keeps me motivated then be it.

3 Good reasons for wanting to lose weight

To get fit
To avoid health problems
To improve your self confidence

3 Bad reasons for wanting to lose weight

To make a bad relationship good
To make someone proud of you
To make someone like you

Hhahaha. See, the difference of wanting to lose weight. -_-
Okay, I'll post more on diet tips. I need the loo now. Bye! :)

2009-08-28T15:41:00.008+08:00

SCHOOL'S OUT! ♥

Okay, Mine the face. Hahaha. It was all due to studying. As I was bored and tired of studying for Ut's. Thats the reason for the face. And please... Do not tell me it's cute. Im tired of that word. I really am. I've been declared that word by many. I'm tired of it. Heh.

I'm Happy! I am! School's out for 5 weeks. and the best thing about it is that its during the month of ramadhan. Which means I'll just be fasting at home and need not worry about getting hungry or thirsty. But the bad thing is that I'll constantly be thinking and counting down the timing for breaking of fast. Shucks. Patience!

I had a movie marathon date with my lovely girls at Bimb's place but it'll be more fun with Titi and Ain there. Well we'll have more movie marathon dates! And i got no idea how it turn out to be a sleepover. That girl really knows how to talk people in sleeping over her place! But it was fun! It really was. I got no idea how giler I was at that very night. Walk around her place like nobody's business after that "stupid" confession thingy. And meditating with some stupid song. Honestly, if you guys were there I'll be 100% giler. Im going to miss you girls when we go our separate ways. Oh damn.

Okay, this is random. But its my first ramadhan after secondary school without my two girlfriends. Cause usually the month of ramadhan we'll be hanging out together and buke-ing together and also studying together. mainly it'll be like a 24/7 with them. I havent had my date with them! I really miss them. We're just too busy with our own lives. I've yet to tell them my stories. And please girls! Ask me out! I miss you! :)

...................

Im confused! I am.
I'm in a turmoil.
I don't know whether I should trust your words even though it sounds oh so convincing and it keeps me wanting more and wishing more. I don't know whether what I'm doing now is correct or wrong. I don't know whether I should continue on what we're having. It seems nice and yes, it's fate. But please make it convincing and maybe then I'll change my mind. I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I don't wish to break the friendship we've build and make it awkward and ruin it all over again like the last one. I don't know how to mend the friendship if its gone. You seem to be the one who always listens to my stupid stories even though it seems to bore you. Well, anyway.. Thank You!

My new "song stuck in my head"

If the sun shuts down and decided not to shine no more
I would still have you, baby
If we see the last day and they say we gotta go to war
I'll be fighting with you, baby
Cuz I know if I'm falling, you won't let me hit the ground
If the boat is sinking, I know you won't let me drown

No matter what anyone could say
This is the only place for me
And no one could ever take that away
Nothing could come between us

If the sun shuts down and decided not to shine no more (No more)
I would still have you, you, you ,you, you, you, you
If we see the last day and they say we gotta go to war (To War)
I'll be fighting with you, you, you ,you, you
Because it's us against the world
The world, the world
You know it's us against the world
The world, the world, ohh

2009-08-20T20:23:00.003+08:00

cute [kyoot]

1. attractive in childlike way: endearingly attractive in the way that some children and young animals are
2. physically attractive: young and physically attractive

Okay. seriously, Im getting irritated by the word cute. Why do guys keep saying Im cute? Do I have a childlike face or am I physically attractive? I dont wish to be cute anymore. I want to be something else. Im so bingit whenever I get that comment from guys. Give me something else please! Seriously. Im done being that cute girl next door. Im done being some cute goody two shoes girl.

I want to show the world (okay,maybe not the world..prasan) that I can not just be that cute girl. I want to be different!

Tips anyone?

2009-08-19T22:25:00.003+08:00

(Click image for bigger picture)

Okay. Im not bragging. But I feel happy when I read this comment from my communications faci. Seriously. I feel overwhelmed by it. I really thought I wasnt showing my best during all his lessons. And I thought he didnt like me and he didnt see my potential in communications. And to me, it was an important module to score because its part of my course. I thought if I failed it, I dont know what will happen. It'll just be an embarrassment to me. I feel that the grade I got after 15 lessons was worth it. I am seriously happy. I can't stop looking at it. Now I can finally say it proudly that I can do communications. Alhamdulillah.

Gosh. This drama wont stop will they?

2009-08-17T11:25:00.004+08:00

Thank you for believing in me when I found it difficult to believe in myself...

for saying what I've needed to hear sometimes, instead of what I've wanted to hear....

for siding with me....

and for giving me another side to consider.

Thank you for opening yourself up to me....

for trusting me with your thoughts and disappointments and dreams....

for knowing you can depend on me and for asking my help when you've needed it.

Thank you for putting so much thought and care and imagination into our friendship...

for sharing so many nice times and making so many special memories with me.

Thank you for always being honest with me...

being kind to me...

being there for me.

Thank you for being a friend to me in so many meaningful ways.

This ia to all my Girlfriends/Guyfriends who have been there for me.
Im missing you People.! :P

2009-08-17T11:17:00.002+08:00

The 3 Major steps of friendship.

The first step to make friends with someone is to make them like you. If they don't like you in the first place, it is unlikely that they'll be eager to become your friends. To let someone know that you are genuinely interested in them, simple gestures like a little smile and calling him by his name can lay the basic foundation. To make the other person feel important you need to be a good listener and encourage the other person to talk. Give your honest and sincere opinion but do not overtly criticize or make fun of him or her.

The second step of making someone your friend is to develop a mutual consideration between each other. You need to share his or her perspective and for that it is necessary for you to develop an inclination to see things from the other person's point of view. To become best of friends you must show a genuine concern and consideration for your friend's desires and opinions.

The third and final step towards friendship is to show your unconditional support and encouragement towards your friend. Moreover, you also need to be very clear about your expectations from your friend. If what you expect from the person you want to befriend, matches with what that person can and want to contribute in friendship, the developing friendship between you and your friend is assured to flourish, making both of you gratified with mutual emotional bonding.

2009-08-11T21:43:00.002+08:00

Shucks. NDP is officially over. Im missing it already. Im missing my saturday nights spend dancing and making a fool out of myself and the late gelato treats. It was a blast. Im liking the fireworks. Stars and Hearts. pretty isn't it?
(pictures are all up on facebook) go check it out.

well, the night before NDP, sleptover nisha's place. and I had a great time spent with my girls. I swear it was awesome. Should do it more often. With our very own truth and truth with the conversation starter. and baked cupcakes for all the NDP people. decorating it all. Ate pizza late at night and spending the night like a club. With club songs that will just make you want to dance. Well, the dancing part was only spent in the early morning. Too tired to even dance at night.

Im going to miss my girls as how I miss my saturday nights. oohh.

Crap. UT is just around the corner. And guess what?!? Ive only studied a bit of problems. and I got many more to go. Damn. Someone just slap me now. Im so screwed. I really am!

*When I say jump, You say how high.

2009-08-07T22:38:00.003+08:00

I wonder. What does the word commitment means? Seriously. From the bottom of my heart. Deep down. I am scared of that word even though I don't exactly know what it means? But all I can is that I am weak. I am weak when it comes to guys.
It's been a while for me dating someone.and getting myself comfortable with a guy. It's been a while since I went back in to the dating world. And all because I was scared. I was a chicken.

I wonder whether I ever had a first love? I had my share of ex boyfriends but have I ever had that first love? Thinking back. I don't. Its not something to brag about or talk about. But from my whole 18 years I have never been really IN love. Is it that bad? Gosh.

Where do broken hearts go?
Is it still etched in a piece of your heart? Or will it leave and fade away just like that? And if somebody loves you, Won't they always love you? Explain it to me.

No doubt. Mingling around and talking around is fun. Im getting much more comfortable with more people around me. Im getting that confidence of loving myself. Im appreciating the things around me. Sometimes I wonder why it took me 18 years of my life to appreciate it all and get that confidence. The confidence of loving myself and my body. It's coming back slowly. It is. Trust me!

Maybe because Im getting a year older and being in a legal age. It gets me thinking about it much deeper. It makes me understand life a bit more. Im loving you!

I'm going to miss my Saturday nights. Drooling at the uniform guys. No more of all that. Im going to miss this experience.

xoxo
Idayu.

2009-07-31T20:40:00.002+08:00

Love.

All this talk from my friends about Love got me thinking. What is Love? Do you have the exact answers for that? I know I don't. I read some things on the Net, and this is what Love means to some people.

To some Love is friendship set on fire for others maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, Love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind.

Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe.

Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship. The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never exist, because there has been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships.

Maybe this is what Love means. In my whole 18 years, I don't think I have ever love someone deeply. I don't think I've experienced that true meaning of Love. Every time that word comes about I chickened out. I get scared and run away. I'm sorry but that's just me. Every time there's a good guy who comes my way and when it gets to the step of being more than friends. I backed out. The word of commitment scares the shit out of me. I'm a chicken at this "Love" thingy. I'm sorry. But I am.

But what if the person you love don't love you back? Doesn't that just scares you. Doesn't that makes you just want to give it all up. Maybe not to others, but maybe to me. I'm scared. Scared of betrayal. Scared of commitment. Scared of rejection. I'm a chicken when it comes to Love.

2009-07-28T21:59:00.002+08:00

Gosh. I think school's getting harder day by day. Or is it just me? I cant seem to catch up on my workload. I feel as though my results are getting worse. The problems in school is getting harder and complicated to understand. That how stress I can get. It may seem easy and relaxing for some. But most definitely not for me. It sucks. Sometimes I feel as though I'm useless and slow. But sometimes I do make stupid decisions and sometimes I am slow. That's just me. I cant change that. I'm mentel too. Yes I am. I do admit. I've been like that since young. That's just my girly side coming out.

Well even though school has been a hard time on me. Im still loving every minute Im in class. The girls in class are the best. I fell in love each and everyone of them because they wore formal. They look so hot. I swear. Okay, that sounded lesbian. Gosh. NO! I just find what they wore nice. Really. Even the guys. The guys whom I thought wasnt hot in the first place, turns out to be Hot in formal wear. I felt like I was in prom with guys. Hhahahahah.

Went for Ignite. It was okay-lah. Fun but I prefer Jam & Hop. I love the music there. Ignite is mainly mosh-piting which I dont fancy doing. It hurts. I was in the moshpit for 2 minutes or so and I got hit on the head by someone's leg. Like hello! Do I look as though I'm a human punching bag. But going Ignite with my girls is fun! I love my weekends.

P/S: Good girls go bad.

2009-07-17T22:14:00.002+08:00

Im sorry if I did not post other embarrassing pictures here! well you girls are still in my heart! okay well. this girls are my medicine whenever I go to school. They are my drugs. They make me high and happy every single day and make me forget about the stress or problems. They bring me joy and constantly keeping me company when Im at home or even after school.

The 1st picture are my darlinggs for CCC. The girl on the left is Nini, met her during the CCC orientation and then from there onwards we became close as hell. I love her to bits. She's my No. 1 person whom will make me crazy and dance like hell even though we're buildings apart and move while webcaming. The girl on the right is my best fren of 12 years. I've known for 12 years ever since primary school. Imagine that long being with her. All her perangais all I know. ahahha. And i do love her!

2np picture is the biggest bimbo I've ever met.( i mean it in a nice way). She's my bimbo. She's the blurrest and funniest and forgetful person Ive ever met. I thot I was worse. She's worser. BUt she bring joy and laughter to me.

3Rrd picture! I love this picture! These girls are the best girlfriends I met while being in RP. I swear! They are the most funniest, blurrest, craziest, most weird laughters and etc. girlfriends ever! They are constantly 24/7 laughing and making others laugh. They are the bomb. Even if anyone of us feels left out or sad or lonely. each and every one of us will know and sense it. So no Lies girls.
To Jas, Titi, Ain and Nisha. I love you girls and I dont wish to change class. I dont wish to be separated by you girls :)

2009-07-15T14:04:00.000+08:00

Passion makes the world go round, love just makes it a safer place.

2009-07-14T14:09:00.002+08:00

This isn't goodbye

It breaks my heart to see my friends feeling this way.
It breaks my heart because I cant do anything to help them.
It breaks my heart to see him around and pretend like as though we're nothing.
It breaks my heart to see this happening everyday.
It breaks my heart to see me breaking my mom's heart.
It breaks my heart that I don't have time for them.

woah. I feel nice letting it out. finally.

It breaks my heart.

2009-06-30T21:40:00.003+08:00

Gosh. Holidays or Leave of Absence is seriously boring!
Help!
Amazingly I want school back. Or maybe just something to occupy me. I've been cooped up for days but obviously there are days when I go out. And I will never have imagine finish watching the korean show. gosh i think i was really addicted. Giler! and now im stuck to watching Bones all season. Giler! this is what holidays and being quarantine leads you to do.

oh. I spend a wonderful day with my girls yesterday. It wasnt at all planned though. it was just a spur out of moment thingy and that I was completely bored to death at home. so then we decided to go out. so met naz at around 6 plus and off we went to esplanade. cause me and sha needed to finish our work first before we had some girl fun. I couldnt get proper internet connection at home and I was getting f*cked up about it. after which, we walked around aimlessly with nothing to do and then just slacked at starbucks cause naz's shoe dah koyak so we had to sit down. and as usual with 3 girls+camera+lots of times=fun! thats what we did. jsut imagine 3 18(to be) girls at starbucks laughing out loud, moving stuff around, taking nonsensical pictures, making lots and lots of noise and everyone around us looking at us. thats what happen in a few hours.
Well, thanks girl for the day!

My blogskin is getting boring. Gosh i need to change it. any recommendations for soemthing nice and fun?

Labels. My lips like sugar.

2009-06-29T23:39:00.004+08:00

My Girls.

They are the best friends who have stick by me all this years. For my whole 6 years I've spent my moments of anger, sadness, happiness, stressed. craziness and everything. It was all with them. They are the best friends who I will say that will definitely stick by me all the way until we are all krepot and very old. They are the friends who I can count on during my times of trouble. I know that even though how far each of us may be, we will still have our moments of gossip and updates. This are the girls who I will cherish and treasure everything about them.

I may not be with them anymore 24/7, but they know that they are constantly reminded in my heart and mind! I miss them so much. A fun day with them really makes all your troubles go away! A day with them will give you 100% cheek bones and abs! i guarantee!

I LOVE YOU GIRLS!

2009-06-28T20:49:00.006+08:00

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
I never needed pain, I never needed strain
My love for you is strong enough you should have known
I never needed you for judgment
I never needed you to question what I spend
I never ask for help
I take care of myself
I don’t why you think you got a hold on me

And it’s a little late for conversations
There isn’t anything for you to say
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver
So look at me and listen to me because…

Maybe this is why Im scared of commitment. I dont need someone who tells me what to do and what not to do. I dont need someone who will be a nag to me. Sometimes I see myself needing and wanting someone, but then whenever I think about it all over again, what for? Is there a need for that someone. Is there a need for me wanting to commit to someone. To me, I find that's just scary. Scary as the fact of just being involve with someone. Just one person. Loving and needing and wanting your whole life for that one person. Maybe Im jsut not cut out for that yet. Maybe its time i'll just wait.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOnoz-f43RI
oh oh oh. watch this video. her voice is nice! Kantoi.

2009-06-15T22:39:00.002+08:00

I never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go
'Til you open the door there's so much more
I've never seen it before
I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
But you came along and you changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground you spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling
And I, I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier

When I listen to this song, it makes me feel as though I'm flying on cloud 9. It just seems ... okay seriously I do not know how to explain it. Its as though when you found that special someone which you feel as though he's the one you feel crazy inside. Cause you're just crazy over him. Okay, I'm not trying to be lovey-dovey and all lah. I just find this a nice song to listen to.

Okay, well it was the official first day of school after term break. And guess what I was bored to death. I had nothing to do (okay I'm exaggerating) but I really felt bored at home. Well, its not like I didnt go out lah. I did, and when i do go out I tend to spend money which i dread and hate alot. That's partly why I hate the holidays.

Gosh, Im writing crap. I got no mood lah. I had a sucky day today. WTF. I thot it'll be a good day, but not. Woke up on the wrong side of bed. hahaahha. whatever. pfft.

I don't know what I'm feeling now.

2009-06-10T22:40:00.004+08:00

Two words to describe today's date with my dear Shirin!

DOUBLE SENSATION!!!

Only the both of us know what that means.

its just plain old good girl fun today.

Misty Elliot and Shirin Knowles.

2009-06-10T00:58:00.001+08:00

I'm so bored stuck at home with nothing to do. I'm tired of holidays. Amazingly, I want school.

2009-06-04T22:47:00.003+08:00

I'm Back.
Okay. I know i've not been blogging for a long while. I was busy with stuff as usual, being me. Okay right now, I'm having a 2 week holiday break. For now, it seems nice ah cause i did spend it wisely. I just came back from drama camp. Well, truthfully it was half fun and half boring. well except for the night moments which are fun. I had no idea being in drama could be quite tiring. Had to stay up at night just to finish up on our scripts and the skits. Had to practice our voice projection, body movements and etc. For now, thats what I can remember lah. I had my gossip moments with my drama girls. It's fun while it lasted. There are some which I just cant stand and I have those repel attraction jsut being around them, and there are some which I love out hang out and talk to. I guess im going to try and stick to drama after this. I fnot all my efforts are wasted. like wth kan?.
Okay. Done with drama shits.

ooohhh. I'm doing my hair. Okay before I get a new hairstyle. This is my current hairstyle. As some may know, I get bored of my hairstyle very often. That;s why during this 2 week break Im going to take this opportunity to do my hair.maybe highlight my hair and perm it. well not a maybe anymore. chop. confirm. Thats what i intend to do. I need a new hairstyle. Im sick and tired of my boring plain hair. Im still considering what colour will go nice with my hair. researching. hahaha. tak de kerje. seriously tak de kerje.
Part of me, is that i cant wait for school to start. Im getting bored with nothing to do. At least when Im in school, Im occupied with doing stuffs and my lame-ass friends can entertain me with their nonsense.
I miss school. I do.

2009-05-26T21:46:00.003+08:00

I don’t think I want this anymore
As she drops the ring to the floor
She says to herself: ‘You’ve left before’
This time you will stay gone, that’s for sure

And he shattered something else
She dragged her suitcase down the path,
To the driveway.
She had never gone that far.

Normally this would be the time
that she would let him talk her out of leaving,
But this time, without crying,
as she got into her car, she said,

No happily never after,
that just ain’t for me, because finally
I know I deserve better after all,
I’ll never let another teardrop fall.

As she drove away she starts to smile,
Realized she hadn't for a while.
No destination, she drove for miles
Wondering why she stayed in such denial.

I'm done, I'm done
(Said I'm so done)
So done, I'm done, I'm done
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free
Free to be me.

She inhales an air she'd never breathed before...
The air of no drama no more

Another tear drop fall.

when i listened to this song. It really has alot to say about what im going through now. Im done. i dont want it anymore. Yes, I would lie if i said i wasn't begging for you to come back. but now that you want to enter back in my life. i dont think i want it anymore. i dont want that drama anymore. i wasnt yours properly anyway. there's no way for me to waste my tears on you. im too strong for that. I thought i needed you, but then again i was wrong. I was totally wrong. You left once, what makes me think that you wont leave again. Once bitten, twice shy. so right now all i can say is I'm done with you Boy. i really am.

eye-candy is eye catching.

2009-05-18T20:15:00.002+08:00

I bust the windows out ya car
And no it didn't mend my broken heart
I'll probably always have these ugly scars
But right now I don't care about that part

I didn't wanna but I took my turn
I'm glad I did it cause you had to learn...

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel when you saw it
I didn't know that I had that much strength
But I'm glad you see what happens when...

You see can't just play with people's feelings
Tell them you love them and don't mean it
You'll probably say that it was juvenile
But I think that I deserve to smile

ok this lyrics really shows what i feel now. but then I am feeling fine. like really really fine. But now i can proudly say that i found my own sunny day. I'm having my sunny days now. and i am happy. after all this happening in life, it shows me the true meaning of it all. I just dont want to trust any one of them now. im done.

Who'd ever thought that i would see this day....
Where i would see my ghetto life fade away...
Cos i was lost and couldn't find a way...
and now i look forward to every day....

Welcome to my sunny day...
my sunny day...
everyday....
a better day...
Welcome to my sunny day...
my sunny day....
every day...
a better day...
welcome to my sunny day...

2009-05-15T23:55:00.002+08:00

I was waiting for you.
I was waiting for you.
I was waiting for you.

But then.. I guess the decision has been made.
there's no more time and effort for us to hold on any longer.
you are no longer mine. and I'm no longer yours.
we are done. we are through.

But deep down, you're still cherished in my heart.
Deep down I have a place for you in my heart.
Deep down the feelings still stay in my heart.

okay. I guess Im being emo now. stop it sia. but whatever. my blog. my life! so fuck off people. hahaha. ok that was so tak perlu. and super harsh. My bad.
damn. im loving my class. My class is like the biggest bitch in the building. E37H. i swear. everyday sial open the gossip corner. mass convo with everyone in the class. we can like merely talk about anything. thats fun! my class is freaking lame. we;e like making up this scandals in class where each one of us call each other syg, baby, darlings and etc. and my darling class scandal is Devar. hahaha. of all people kan. he is the best lah, making me smile and laugh everyday. from each of us not knowing each other as strangers to become close friends. I will definitely miss them. I will.
fireball is nice but a fucking lame ending. i jsut love the fight scenes minus the blood though. but everything else was good. the guys are Hot.. sweaty-sweaty with abs. ish. saliva meleleh ok...hahahah. next movie would be night at the museum 2. now thats a must watch movie. hahaaah.

ok i want to tido now. i got the freaking ndp thingy tmr morning. damn.
good night and toodles. :)

2009-05-14T22:35:00.002+08:00

ohh. i've been feeling rather tired lately. like always always yawning. thats how tired i am when in school or going to school or in class. hahaahah. penat ah. im getting frustrated of having to do the same damn thing every fucking day. projects, research and presentations. but school's been fun cause i have a great bunch of classmates around me to make the class lively and fun. having mass convo every day talking about bull shit stuff. like mainly anything out of the blue. even about the faci. then suddenly out of nowhere during the convo we'll be laughing out loud. now my class got like 5 "scandals". we are fucking lame lah. seriously. and everyday there'll be a new video made by us. hahahahah. and i will not post the video here. its fucking embarassing pls.
i need like a proper girls day/night out with my girls. its always the others tagging along. sampai kene berbual kat dlm toilet. thats how pathetic it is. are we that freaking busy? hahahahah. oh wells.. lain class. of course lah hardly talked. i miss them. i do! i miss my other girls too. we need a proper proper meet up. not like just a dinner gitu whereby you see me eat. durh. a whole day to ourselves! kan best?!?

i miss him. i do. i really do.

2009-05-11T20:39:00.003+08:00

And yes there are times when I hate you
But I don't complain
Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh but now I don't hate you I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

This is exactly what I am feeling at this very moment. It sucks. totally sucks. sometimes they say being in a relationship for the very early days are the best moments for you and your loved ones spending 24/7 together just being lovey-dovey. mine is totally the opposite of it. but I am being very sabar now. im just praying to be sabar. I really am. I am happy.
school has been keeping me occupied. my class is hilarious. they can be freaking horny but then again then can just make you laugh at that very moment. its fun! really fun. i feel so bad about bitching about her. but i really cant stand her. well I am not the only one. but really.. she irritates me. only good at bodek-ing the faci to get good grades. anyone can do that seh. even me. but it all comes down to your team members evaluation. hahahahha. sometimes i put her evaluation like crap. but its real honest truth okay. no lies.
oh! oh! oh! im currently addicted to this very very song.

I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in and knocked me on my face
Feels like I'm in a race but I already won first place

I never thought I fall for you as hard as I did (as hard as I did, yeah)
You got me thinking about our life, our house and kids (Yeah)
Every morning I look at you and smile
Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down (knocked me down)

[Chorus]
Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
and it knocks you down
just get back up
when it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
and it knocks you down
just get back up
when it knocks you down (knocks you down)

2009-05-08T09:08:00.003+08:00

school's been great so far. there's much more work to be done now then the 1st and 2nd week of school. some lessons im still seriously tak faham langsung. i feel freaking blur lah. like some useless freak gitu. but im getting the hang of it very soon. very very soon.
I miss my girls. I do. i feel bad cause im suppose to go out with them ystd but i had my ndp briefing. Im sorry girls. i'll make it up to you girls.
I miss him too. we've been busy with school.damn. he's been really busy. and hardly had time for me. shit lah. i hate it but then again i got to understand. but oh well. im still in love with him. I do.
ish i got nothing to talk about but there was so many things happening in my life. oh oh oh.

oh oh oh. i did something new to my hair. i cut bangs after so long of not having it. something new. but im not used to it yet. i dont know how to maintain it lah. but well. is it nice?

2009-05-04T23:20:00.002+08:00

well.. its been a freaking long time since i blogged. i dont know what is wrong with me. busy sangat ke? hahah.. right. the above pictures are my fellow seriously giler classmates. they will make you laugh till you get stomach cramps especially titi and jas.there's this particular guy in my class who loves so much to disturb me.MR DEVAR! seriously. he loves disturbing me out of no apparent reason.hahah. fun lah. bring laughter to the class. i love my class. i do. we are all warming up. we will usually have our breaks filled with watching movies. school has been errmm.. puzzling. seriously. its not stressful but complicated.maybe baru getting used to poly studies.but i tend to understand the whole lesson after like an hour of reading to myself.thats how bad i get when i dont understand my lesson. my rp girls are amazing. our usual meet up during breaks and after school meetings. sitting and standing for hours just people watch and gossiping or just laughing about nothing. like mainly nothing and just laugh. thats how fun my school has been so far. its been a big big smile to me. im enjoying my time just not the lessons for now. hehehe.
ohh. i miss my Bis so much. i do. i really do. 3 more days till i meet them.the last time i met them was like 2 weeks ago. how long can that be. i got like a storybook to update to them. like that much! im sounding very bimbotic now. with all the likes. so tak perlu. but i dont know why im typing that now. just ignore the likes. heheheheh. i miss you girls. i cant wait for our meet up! i really do. i'll update more soon. very very soon. i promise. :)

kiss me through the phone.

2009-04-19T19:02:00.000+08:00

oh! finally the day which i have been waiting for. school is starting. damn. i cant believe its here. seriously when i attend my first class. i was freaking a loner pls. i was the only CCC in my class.damn. i dont know hwo i can click in class.but we'll see. they seem to be nice pple though. been sick right after orientation ends. having a bad flu and a on and off fever. sucks big time. was suppose to meet jalil but due to being sick i had to cancel it. im so sorry my fren. but i orientation was superb. i had to introduce myself all over again. but it was all worth it. made great frens. the party thingy was fun too. it was something which i know everyone wont forget. like seriously. cause i know i havent forgotten it yet though.
ok for now. i have no clue nak pakai ape seh for first day. i want to make a good first impression. damn. i got no more uniform. and i need to pack my bag for school. hahaha. like finally eh after months of not schooling. oh i miss my girls badly. been a while since we chilled. i got so many sotries to tell them. and i know they got so may stories for me. i dont know when im able to go out with my people. cheyy. hahah. ok whatever thats so unnecessary.
i feel like taking out my throat and nose. its so itchy. ive been coughing non-stop and been having running nose. damn. i hate it. gosh. i hope i'll be fine in school. im going to meet you girls during break okay.we better meet!

2009-04-16T22:01:00.002+08:00

To really love a woman, to understand her
You gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought, see every dream
And give her wings when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman,
Tell her that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman, tell her that she’s the one
'Cause she needs somebody to tell her
That it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
Really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you,
'Til you know how she needs to be touched
You’ve gotta breathe her, really taste her
'Til you can feel her in your blood
And when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

You got to give her some faith, hold her tight
A little tenderness, gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin’ good care of you
You really gotta love your woman...

this song is seriously a song which all guys should just listen to. to understand and to really love your woman. when i heard matt giraud sang it. i was so in love with this song. but i dont like him. i like alison and anoop. hahahha. ok stop it about the american idol lah. haiyo.
gosh. i actually have a lots to blog. but as you know im so the pemalas. hahahah. but oh wells. overall. Orientation was fun. really fun. tmr's the last day. hmmm.. it'll be exciting. oklah. my eyes getting tired. from school. hahaha. finally i get to feel the tired-ness of school all over again. i cant imagine i missed it.

2009-04-11T22:32:00.003+08:00

My favourite memores are my memories of you.
My favourite moments are my moments of you.

Im going to miss my girls when school starts.seriously. Im going to miss our late night phone conference.our late nights webcam chats. our lunch dates. i cant believe its all beginning.a new life which i have always wanted. away from all the drama and shit ive been having. but then again. i will miss it.
sha, i know you're having your own problems to deal.but you know im always here for you even me being far away from you.gosh thats cliche. but its true. im waiting at the beginning.hahaha makes no sense in that particular line but its nice. hahahha.
im going to miss my sister when she's off to mexico for 3 months. i may not show it. but i really do. im not going to have anyone around to talk to. im going to be really lonely. we may not be the best of sisters or friends but i still love her. we do have our fights and bickering. well thats what sisters do. but deep down i do love her. i may show that i want her to leave but the truth. i dont. i dont know how im going to live without her. ive been with her my whole 17 life. its like im missing something deep inside my heart. and truth be told. while writing this im actually tearing. im like imagining that shes already gone when shes only a room away. gosh.. be strong idayu. be occupied with school.
ok merepek.
im so excited but scared at the same time for poly. i really am. everything is new to me. everything. but im ready for change. hahaha :)
gosh. hahaha.
im in love with this song now. i know its very old. but who cares.(i think i was born on the wrong era for music) hahahha.

Call up, ring once, hang up the phone
To let me know you made it home
Don't want nothing to be wrong with my part-time lover

If she's with me I'll blink the lights
To let you know tonight's the night
For me and you, my part-time lover

We are undercover passion on the run
Chasing love up against the sun
We are strangers by day, lovers by night
Knowing it's so wrong, but feeling so right

If I'm with friends and we should meet
Just pass me by, don't even speak
Know the word's "discreet" when part-time lovers

But if there's some emergency
Have a male friend to ask for me
So then she wont seem to be my part-time lover

2009-04-08T22:07:00.002+08:00

I bust the windows out your car
And no it didn't mend my broken heart
I'll probably always have these ugly scars
But right now I don't care about that part

I bust the windows out your car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn't wanna but I took my turn
I'm glad I did it 'cause you had to learn

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel, when you saw it
I didn't know that I had that much strength
But I'm glad you see what happens when

You see you can't just play with people's feelings
Tell them you love them and don't mean it
You'll probably say that it was juvenille
But I think that I deserve to smile
ha ha ha ha ha

I bust the windows out your car
You know I did it 'cause I left my mark
Wrote my initials with the crowbar
And then I drove off into the dark

I bust the windows out ya car
You should feel lucky that that's all I did
After five whole years of this
Gave you all of me & you played with it

But it dont comfort....
But it don't comfort to my broken heart
You could never feel how I felt that day
Until it happens baby you don't know pain

Oooh Yeah I did it (Yeah I did it)
You should know it (You should know it)
I ain't sorry (I ain't sorry)
You deserved it (You deserved it)

After what you did to me (After what you did)
You deserved it (You deserved it)
I ain't sorry (I ain't sorry)
no no oh... (I ain't sorry)

You broke my heart
So I broke ya car
You caused me pain (You caused me pain)
So I did the same

Even though all that you did to me was much worse
I had to do something to make you hurt yeah
Oh but why am I still cryin'?
Why am I the one whose still cryin'?

Oh oh you really hurt me baby
You really you really hurt me baby
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
hey hey hey hey
now watch me yua
now watch me ha ha ha

I bust the windows out ya car

this song.. hahhaha.. makes me really feel it but then again it sounds so violent. can you just imagine the way you want to get revenge is by doing violent to the other person. thats not the way it is. so rabak. but the lagu is funny.well to me lah. hahahha.
i want badly to blog about the date i had with my Bis. but im too lazy. lagi the blogger dont allow me to upload some photos. so next time then. hahhaha. i'll just tell you now. it's a blast.

2009-04-06T00:18:00.002+08:00

I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
Oh baby, it might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious

'Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

Oops!... I did it again
I played with your heart,
Got lost in the game, oh baby, baby
Oops!... you think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Wishing that heroes they truly exist
I cry, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways

But to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me

hahahha. this song is so dah lamer. but i heard it on the radio.and it brings back memories. hahahha. i thought they wont ever play this song anymore. i guess i was wrong. this song no meaning to me. just nice. hahahah.. shiok. okay for now i got nothing to blog and the letter "I" on my keyboard mcm susah nak picit. how bingit. hmph.

2009-04-05T00:44:00.003+08:00

im seriously sick and tired of guys with their bloody excuses. entah mane they get all this fucking excuses. mind my language. im just so pissed off. but then again im lucky that i was only in contactable with these assholes.not in a relatonship. but im so tired of their constant excuse and reasons. worse than a girl.
merepek seh. where in the world you get this shit from? do they have like a book of stupid excuses or something? seriously. argh!!!
this is why i want a new beginning. dah penat of the same things happening.. gosh. entah. am i like curse ke pe? i cant find a decent guy. like serously when i found a nice decent type they give fucking bullsht excuses. banyak dorangnyer berbual ah.. stupid. nak hentam their face. ok super kekok for me typing in malay. hahahah
a week more to school camp and orientation. now at least i got something to look forward for. i cant wait for that.

But im still a happy girl. :)

Thats how happy i am even though i have this bullshit stuff in my life. mcm colgate advertisement. hahahahah. Brush uh, Brush uh, Brush uh.

2009-04-03T22:30:00.004+08:00

ok... ive been on a shopping spree this month. happy seh! suke idayu biler shopping. like seriously. i shop till i cant shop no more. mcm orang giler. but it makes me happy. im a happy girl. no one can make me cry and sad anymore. NO ONE! hahahh.. some may be curious to what i buy well.....

stuff i bought/got.
1. 3 pairs of earrings.
2. a ring
3. charles and keith bag.
4. pull and bear shirt.
5. 2 cotton on long sleeves.
6. charles and keith sandals.
7. ipanema slippers.
8. knee length skirt from bugis.
9. long flowy skirt from bugis.
10. dress.
11. shirt from bugis.
12. hairbands from diva.
13. flutter sleeves blouse online.
14. clips.
15. cotton on jeans.
16. red laptop case
17. black pencil box.
18. stationeries.

hahahhahaha. i know i buy alot of stuffs. but i have a very good reasoon for it. school's starting and i need new clothes and accessories.. so thats my reason of buying all this stuff. oh wells. im going to stop now. i really am! hahhaha. as you may realise why i didnt put the prices there as when you guys see it. i bet it'll make you faint. cause when i calculated all of it. i almost fainted. seriously. im not a shopaholic and i dont go crazy. but hello! its the sale season. so take out your wallets pple. i feel happy. very happy. im happy with the place im in right now in my life. so carefree. seriously. nothing to worry about. but sometimes when i spoke too soon. things will start to change and things will happen. you never know.. im excited for camp. DCID.(thats the short form for my course) cause its just freaking long. hahahha.. im so exctited for it. do i sound excited? cause i really am!!!!!! meeting new pple. thank ALLAH i have haslina with me for my poly life. i wouldnt know what to do and how to get through my poly life without the pple i care for. sha and naz, even though we're in very far different schools. im still there for you girls. i love you. hheheheh.. see how happy i am. :)

2009-03-26T15:50:00.000+08:00

i dont understand people. like what is so bad about rp. i know its a new poly and not a good poly or whatever.and they have the reputation to be a relek poly. but wth. but i guess i cant change everyone's perspective of rp. to me its a blessing just gotten accepted in a poly. i thought i might screw up my Os and my life would be in a turmoil deciding on what school would want me and all. but then alhamdulillah i got into a poly and with a course close to what i want to do. im happy with that. im happy that my parents and sister are supporting me in all this.
i just want to start everything a new. i cant wait to see the people in school. im tired of my old life. i mean im tired of the same things happening over and over again. sheesh. oh wells.. its been a while since i blog. my blog seems plain now. real pain. i got lots of stuff happening but im just so lazy to type. ish malasnyer.
long story short.

Im tired of guys.

2009-03-18T23:15:00.002+08:00

You're anything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could have been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that

You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I love to not forgive
And thought you break my heart
You're the only one

And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can't erase the times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you its pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you babe
I don't want to play that part
I know that I love you but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kinda way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
And I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl no no
No broken-hearted girl
I'm no broken-hearted girl

There's something that I feel I need to say
But up 'til now I've always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out
You say you got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me
And still you're in my heart
But you're the only one

And yes there are times when I hate you
But I don't complain
Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh but now I don't hate you I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, mmm yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away, away with you,
Yeah yeah yeah, oh ohh...

gosh. i never posted a broken hearted song before. this is a first. well there's always a first in everything. seriously. right now.this is the feeling i get. the feeling im feeling. gosh and it sucks. how badly i wish this feling wont come. but i really am. i dont know. im confused too. im trying to cry but i cant. i really do. im taking a risk but there's nothing you did to prove it. why? well whatever this song can just tell you whatever im feeling now. it tells you my story now. exactly.

2009-03-17T21:25:00.002+08:00

If anyone can fill my world with joy and happiness
and cast away all of my loneliness
always there beside me when I am down
and never left my face with the frown
Its you! Yes, it is you my friend who can make it all come true
Its you! Yes, it is true a friend in need is a friend indeed

When youre around, I wrap myself in a pearly smile
When youre around, you light the bulb inside my head
When youre around, I wrap myself in a pearly smile

When youre around I dance and sway
And kiss the ground

When youre around, I laugh and sing out song in loud.

my new favourite band. Mocca. gosh when i heard them played ystd i was like a real hard core fan gitu. padahal i only heard of them for like 2 songs and it was a random thing. Me and sha didnt even planned to go to hear them play but i guess it was a good decision to. after hearing them play we wanted so badly to see their faces. as being the shortfarts we are. we had to squeeze through tall people.. i had to squeeze my head in to small openings just to see them.but then lepas they play they have an autograph signing. which as usual we didnt know about it. we had none of their cds, photos, not even a paper or a pen. thats how unprepared we was. but then again we did got a picture with them. with my pathetic handphone picture. and i look fugly seh. gosh! im going to edit my face. for the first time i had no fringe. thats how fugly i might look.usually when i have no fringe it'll be at home.but yesterday i was very malas to care bout how i look lah. heck lah. hahahahha

2009-03-16T23:13:00.005+08:00

Pick up the phone baby
Please dont miss my call
Pick up the phone baby
Cause im waiting on the other end

have you ever felt as though you tried so hard for that mr right to come and sweep you off your feet. well i have. and i did wait for my mr right to come and sweep me off my feet. i took the courage, the risk and the guts to fight for my mr right. and i really feel as though he's there but i cant have him. i dont know? i dont know what else i should do anymore. should i keep waiting or move on. he says he's going to be there for me. he was so sure of it. damn. i feel like a fool. i give calls, and wish that he would reply or call me back but none. i dont know what im doing now. what else am i waiting for. is there even a thing to wait. is there my fairytale ending in the end? is there that happy ending which i have longing for in him? i do ask this questiions but i dont know why i cant seem to get the answer from him. but i know he cares. i do. i really do.

I want to be with you every night. I want you to ask me,”Am I hugging you too tight?”

2009-03-15T23:54:00.001+08:00

hahahha. I just got my new laptop. and i guess there'll be more of all this pictures that i put in my blog. ahahha. when im bored i'll just take endless pictures and post it. maybe at home, in school or whenever. oh wells. gosh this holidays, there's really alot of gossip around. exciting. seriously. after so long not meeting the person and jut listening to their news. its fun! hahahahha.

2009-03-13T00:06:00.001+08:00

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone

2009-03-11T13:56:00.002+08:00

oh oh oh. i have watched 3 korean movies plus shows, 1 bollywood movie, 3 english movies and some videos. can you just imagine how free i was. hahah. and a bollywood film dah lah take 3 hours to watch. i just ist right in front of the tv and dvd set and watch. hahahha i even watch a rerun of friends. i think due to not schooling i got back my old lazy self. the idayu who just sits in front of the tv and watch non-stop. but now. i have stopped. im just occupying my time with work. school, family and etc. i just try to keep myself occupied. hahahhaha.
went enrolment yesterday. well i expect that it will be a lot of people just not that A LOT of people. hahahah how kiasu singaporeans can get. well i am one of them. but yesterday was just so rabak. there's just too many people. i had to wait, wait, wait and wait some more. queue, queue, queue and more queue for merely 6 hours until everything else was finished. i have no freaking clue why they just do not want to do all this enrolling stuff online. kan senang tak payah menyusahkan orang all. haiz. dont ask me cause i myself am new to all this.

gosh i dont know why i feel the tension close to us. we are so close but yet why are we treating each other like this. i feel as though you're degrading me. am i really that low to you. lke seriously? i know im not that smart, pretty or whatever. but im me.and thats how people accept me. but why do you always just say all this indirect remarks to me. it may be nothing to you. but it means a lot to me when i hear all that. am i really not good enough for you? why? keep me that reason, why?

labels. im just too confused about everything else.

2009-03-09T15:29:00.002+08:00

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

hahahha since i cant get the first best. i have to opt for second best. hahahah.some may be thinking what in the world is this girl talking about. oh well.sometimes in life you cant get whatever you want. and to me i know that i cant get whatever i want. im not thse pampered girls. its just that its been a while since i last got attached but when i found a nice guy to talk to. he seems to go mia. and im just frustrated of that and im so over it now. done. gone. so now im just aiming for second best. even in my academics. i cant be the first best so i went for the second best.okay im talking crap. its been raining since morning and im stuck at home. firstly, its cold and im lazy to go out. secondly, its nice to stay at home with alif and im lazy to go out. thirdly, i jsut got sutff to do at home and im lazy to go out. so overall im just lazy to go out. stick my ass in front of the computer picking out what laptop i wanna buy. hahaah. cause tmr i got enrolment stuff to do. heheeh. im excited. its one step for me starting school. im like a new school kid. its like being a primary school kid all over again. hahaha my mom actually wants to send me to school on the first day of school for me and my family thot that during orientation parents are allowed. how cute. hahaha i guess they still see me as the kid in the family as im the youngest. hhahaha. so it all makes sense.
but well i guess when in poly i'll grow more matured and more grown-up. i guess thats the side my family would want to see me grow into. grow as an adult. wow. that word jsut scares me. like a whole new responsibilities for me. and i have to pay more. everything will just be adult fare. damn. start saving Nur Idayu Arifin. hahahah. my full name. actually its suppose to be together like the Nur and the Idayu. but then i dont know somehow it jsut got separated until now. haaha. ok i dont know why im telling you about my name. oh whatever.can you see how bored i am. o
ok im done. till then. toodles. :)

2009-03-05T16:37:00.003+08:00

LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying... Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Kinda dumb at times.

hahhaha how kesian. Librans di panggil dumb and lame. but oh wells. everything it said i true. i find it very true. i can gladly say i am all of that. hahahha there are my ups and downs. especially the part with " their love is one of a kind". wow. my love is one of a kind. so people do not take my love for granted. its one of a kind tau.cant get it anyway. hahha how lame. ok it definitely shows how lame i am. and some people should not mees with me. you dont know what outcome you will get. hahahahah!(its supposed to be an evil laugh but i failed). and YES, i am a faithful friend. very faithful. i dont like fakes. im sorry but its true. im not sure whether i do hold grudges to pple but to anyone who have done me wrong and apologised i know that for the fact i have forgive them but maybe i havent forget ah. but i can assure you that i dont hold grudges maybe for a while but then im okay. :) hehehhe.

2009-03-03T22:57:00.002+08:00

hehehehe. well this picture is not that funny. but it makes me smile. and this few days its very hard to make me smile. i actually got stuff to think about and stuff to stress about even though i may seems free.im like just thinking through about this guy. i swear. after all this while i still dont understand them. what are they thinking? what is he doing to me. gosh. help me. im getting my mind off him by gym-ing, tv-ing,computering and baking.
everything seems so blank now to me. like i just got nothing to do. oh and guess what. im being a bimbo now but im not. i painted my nails 3 times just so it looks perfect. but it'll be gone in a week. how stupid. see how free i am? hahhahaha.
well to my darling atiqah. amazingly we are going through the same shit but being so far from each other. you have helped me through it all the way well even though only online. but remember lets wait patiently until we find our answer. and i love you.

2009-03-02T18:54:00.002+08:00

i know i havent start school yet and no, im not super busy that the sempat blog. its just that i was too bloody lazy. as usual. idayu is lazy. hahhhaha mind me pple. im back to blogging now.
well i can gladly pronounce this week as workout week with my cousin. we have a whole week plan just to exercise. gerek ah! i swear after so long of not exercising it realyl doesnt help for my body. well i just came back from the gym. spend mainly a good 2 hours there just exercising and getting toned. i like. well we were suppose to go swimming after gym but well when the time comes it just had to come. well of course its the period. hahahha. i was so darn pissed. i was so excited that i finally get to go swimming but then this! darn. bingit tau.
oh wells. nvm. im like getting bored this days. been going out either with frens or alone. im just going out, spending time and money. i feel so bad.
oh now. i get to catch up on alot of sleep. since its been raining non-stop in the afternoon and evening. its a nice time to get some sleep. like really alot of sleep. shiok! ahahahhaha! im getting bored. oh no. i got nothing to blog about. my life's boring now. damn it.

2009-02-19T16:48:00.002+08:00

sudahlah jangan menangis lagi
ku rasa cukup sampai di sini
mungkin di suatu saat nanti
kau temui cinta yang sejati

sudah cepat lupakanlah aku
jangan pernah ungkit masa lalu
ku takut kekasihku pun tahu
kau pernah menjadi simpananku

when i heard this song. it makes me cry. seriously i was merely in tears just listening to it. over and over again. this song will just hit right at the spot.
well merely this song is about this guy who already has a gf but he also has a "simpanan" girl. i dont know how to say it in english. then finaaly he cannot take it anymore and decided he has to decide. so he told his simpanan girl to leave him and just let it go because he wants to be with his gf and he doesnt want his gf to be hurt. so overall he has feelings for the gf but he jsut wants some fun with the simpanan girl. i swear listening to this song brings back some memories. good and bad. all the crying moments. the big eye bags. and the long long days of not sleeping.
hahaha. ok i being so emotional and sentimentel. but well im bored. and when boredom comes and invade me this is what i do.search for songs and post about it. gosh. idayu, i should seriously get a life. hahahaha. im like stuck at home and date-less. i wanna go out. i need to widen my circle of frens. heeheh. i need more contacts so i wont be bored anymore stuck at home. my whole holiday is like a routine if im not going out. just like in secondary school. everything was a routine. i miss school and i miss being busy. last year i always complain about not having any free time and how tired i am due to Os. but now i amazingly i miss all of it. seriously. pple may think im giler. but i really. just try being stuck at home for months without nothing to do only chores tv and computer. sigh. hahaah! oh wells. just one more month. sabar! sabar! sabar! oh i cant wait to enrol myself in poly. i will have alot of paperowrk to do and stuff to be paid. oh and buying a laptop for myself. i thought abt it. i think i wanna buy the white laptop. hmmm.. i hope it does have a webcam installed in it. if not i might buy the one with webcam but with a not-nice colour, the normal laptop colour. hehehehe. then i'll get brief about orientation. now after so long. thats one thing that im looking forward for. hahaah. after so long.

2009-02-16T01:22:00.002+08:00

will you still love me tomorrow?

i think thats everyone's question to their loved ones when they like baru-baru masok in a relationship or when they are confused in their relationship. thats the question which everyone is scared of. imagine, just imagine. that one day the person loves you and the next the love is all gone.ouch. i know.
well, as a matter of fact i actually know why peopledo that. cause i had that feeling once. loving a person is the toughest job in the world. well to me i feel that way. i dont know about anyone else. cause being in love or being loved. thats a whole different stories. hahaah
ala. as you all know why i post that phrase. cause saturday was valentine's day. its not like i celebrate. not even in my religion. everyone should appreciate and show their love to their loved ones everyday not only on valentine's day. oh well. i spent it wisely. with some sister romance or how aishah would say is sisromance. had my valentines day lunch with my Bis. they brighten my day. merely sat there for an hour or so. and just talk non-stop. ketawe. i think we were the loudest there. hahahaa. then headed off to kallang for netball traning. tournament's in a weeks time. im so not prepared.havent played in months.oh god!im terrified.training was quite tough. have to build stamina all over again. and now my body have to pay the price. its all sore. hahahah. oh god. im blabbering. ok stop it! thats it.
goodnight! :)

2009-02-13T21:16:00.002+08:00

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
Im beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think i'll be alright

I guess this valentine's day im going solo tonight. hahah. what a joke? right? im always alone on this special day. but i have my friends with me every step of the way! heheheh. anywhoo. this song is just nice. stumble upon it. and keeps on playing constantly in my computer.
oh! oh! oh! im so excited. i just got my letter from rp. hehehe. my enrolment form and stuff. im glad and bersyukur that i got into a poly. i swear. now all i need to do is enrol and apply myself in the poly asap. hahahaha! oh.. im getting my laptop too. exciting dok! seriously. my orientation's going to be on the 15-17 april. eehehhe!! when poly starts i'll be busy. and guess what. so ironic but i cant wait to be busy. technically ive been free for a few months now. so being busy is exciting to me. new everything! but i have to wait for another month or so. damn! sabar. i still got shopping and situate myself in poly life. hehehe :0

2009-02-08T16:47:00.002+08:00

According to your age, list down the number of things that most people don't know about you.

1. I cut my own fringe.
2. I lie & cheat.
3. I throw my food away.
4. I broke many hearts.
5. I bite my nails.
6. I love to chew on yuppiee gummy bears or worms.
7. I clean my room at least once a year.
8. I need my pink bantal every night.
9. I ALWAYS kiss my mom before i sleep.
10. I can get paranoid at the littlest things.
11. I have my own theories on boys.
12. I'm a sucker for cheap stuff.
13. I have an obsession with accessories.
14. I'm a big baby. I cry alot.
15. I'm very very afraid of clowns & mascots.
16. I can't ride the skate scooter.
17. I have a dream of the PERFECT boyfriend.

2009-02-06T23:43:00.002+08:00

Can’t make up my mind, about the boy
Sometimes he brings me down, sometimes he brings me joy
I want him around, but he’s never in town
Can’t make up my mind, oh no

But I love him even though my friends say he’s not right
I know it’s true but can’t deny he’s on my mind

Chorus
I love him I love him I love him I love him
I love him I love him I love him I love him
And there ain’t no other that I’d put above him
I’m so mad about the boy

Can’t make up my mind about this guy
Sometimes he makes me smile sometimes he makes me cry
Other guys have tried, but he’s the one i like
I’m so mad about this guy

Call it what you like but I ain’t no love fool
You would understand if he was loving you
We’ve had our ups and downs, but i still want him around
He is the one, I know is true

im in love with this song. you may think im in love. but nope. hahahah. this song is very the lovestruck kind. heehhehe.its like a girl liking this guy but her frens dont agree with her dating him. and she doesnt know what to do. cause he's complicated. but deep down she still love him. hhehhehe.sweet kan?!? okay im being giler.
im being frenly. talking to anyone and everyone now.widening my circle of frens. there's no harm in that. my circle of frens is quite small as you may say. i dont believe in having many many frens. but few close frens. but many acquaintances. i think?
ohoh.. i just went shopping. hehehe bought myself a nice top for school. but i will be wearing it soon. like durh. tak sabar.hahaha. now i need is new stationeries and new pencil box and new bag. i need new all. heehhe. i sound so rich. alhamdulillah. its just some money i've been saving to get my stuff. im not high maintenance or whatever.im normal. hehehe. oh wells. im done being lame. going to kacau some people online. yes ah! :)

2009-02-05T23:55:00.002+08:00

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

i was reading this book.and this phase catches my eye. hahaha macam paham. but seriously. sometimes you may feel that you know the person so well even though you know each other like 2,3,10 years. whatever. but do you really know the person? hahah ok its complicated but to those who might understand can explain.i cant explain. hahah im no good. and even though you only know the person for 1,2,3 days or 1 week it doesnt matter. because deep down you know the person inside and outside. with the shortest period of time you will get to know the REAL person. it doesnt matter aboutt he period but the time spend.thats important. im speaking like im so good in this relationship thingy when i had quite a few failed relationships the past few years.im just learning it by reading, listening and experince. this allows me to understand and not make the mistake people are making.
okay well im still stuck at home doing nothing. oh wait. i am doing something. im being an old maid. cleaning,washing and cooking. hahahah as some may know i cleaned my room after 2 years filled with junk. hahaaha.
im turning 18 this year. and guess what im dateless. its not like a big deal. but turning 18, well hello. yes it is.valentine's day is round the corner. and usually this special lovey day is always spent in school by giving each other presents and hugs. but now since im school-less ive yet to go on a date with anyone. hahahaah. and i'll be spending valentine's day alone again. oh wells. no suprise in that. this happens for like my whole life. i never get to share or spend any special occasions with anyone not even with my bfs when i was with them.not a birthday. not an anniversary.it always backfires. i think im jinxed in relationships.oh it sucks but well. im enjoying my life. yes i am. hehehee..
oh i cant wait for school to start but well i got to know some pretty bad news. well for me lah. im not going to say it cause i dont want to start any drama anymore. im so done with it. seriously a whole secondary school life i was filled with drama. penat. oh so very the penat. im drama-less now. hahahaha. ok im talking crap now. cause oh look at the time. its pass my beauty sleep. right? heehhe. :)

2009-02-02T20:39:00.003+08:00

oohhh. im posted to republic poly Communication and Information Design.im glad i got accepted to a poly. im going to do my very best in it. be more discipline this year. no more kidding sround.heheheh. oh yes im in the same course as my primary school best fren. we've been separated for 5 years due to different secondary schools. well i guess its fated that we're back together. can go to school together since we both lived in bishan. im excited for that. hahaha. i am. me and her have been trying to catch up with each other for a long time. the last time i talked to her was months ago and it was a terserempak thingy also. i was on my way home and so was she. then we ended talking below my block for hours(with my smelly school uniform) oh wells. she lives very near me. few blocks away. cool kan! yay!

finally now i can clean my room. been waiting for the perfect timing to clean my room. get rids of my secondary school stuff. but i'll keep the memories though. its 5 years of memories being in a girl's school. you should see how many plastic bags i have. and everything's inside got to go. full of my book and papers and loads of rubbish. i think there's like 6 bags. heheh. and my dad has to carry and throw it all away for me. hahaha. im quite malas to kluar rumah since ive been cleaning my room plus house. oh i've been cooking too. improving my cooking skills and baking skills. the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. so hahahah.

my new current fave song.i swear its addictive. hahha

there's only two types of people in the world
the ones that entertain
and the ones that observe

well baby I'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl
dont like the backseat
gotta be first

I'm like the ringleader
I call the shots
I'm like a fire cracker
I make it hot
when I put on a show

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage
better be ready, hope that ya feel the same

all eyes on me in the center of the ring
just like a circus
when I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip
just like a circus
don't stand there watching me
follow me, show me what you can do
everybody let go, we can make a dance floor
just like a circus

there's only two types of guys out there
Ones that can hang with me
and ones that are scared
so baby, I hope that you came prepared
I run a tight ship, so beware

ps. i cant get you out of my head.

2009-01-30T14:42:00.003+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Commitment
Being Alone
Looked down on
Losing Someone
Where Your life is Going
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

i think everyone in this world has a fear. ok i was bored and i stumble upon this quiz. hahaha. so here i am posting it. i thot my fear was blood. i think now my main fear is disappointment and i think its true. i had disaapointing people and myself. it sucks. and everytime i cry its like water in a bucket. hahahah.. oh wells.
oh! oh! oh!
IM A KILER. i killed 5 mosquitos. hahah im so evil but because of them i have lots of mosquitos bites. and it itches. damn. so everytime i see one i killed. hahahah

Im Mad About The Boy

2009-01-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

im done with you boy.
im done hanging on to you.
im done wishing that there's something between us.
im done thinking of every possible outcome for us.
im done being there for you.
im done with all the actions.
im done hating myself because of you.
im done loving you boy.
im done.

2009-01-15T21:09:00.008+08:00

Stand By Me - Ben E. King (click to play)

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid, Oh I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

(Chorus)
So darling, darling
Stand by me, oh, stand by me
Oh stand, stand by me,
Stand by me.

if the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry
No I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me
Oh stand by me, oh won't you stand now, stand by me

this is a song i dedicate to my two bestest girlfrens in the world. to my Bis, Siti Nazreah Bte Mahadi and Siti Aishah Abudal (emphasising on their Sitis)hehehe. i will always stand by you girls no matter what. after being through so much together we stayed strong for the whole incredible 5 years. and still going strong for insyallah many more years to go. i cherish what we have you girls. and now that our new life is starting and we'll be separated by different schools i hope we wont go adrift. i pray and hope we will still be in contact even though we dah tua and krepot. i love you guys so much. we have been through all the ups and downs. all the shit and drama especially if i brought it upon to you guys.Im sorry girls. i just wanna say how much i aprreciate all of it. i know you guys tak tahan my nonsense shit i bring, but you never ever stop smiling and making me smile. everyday spending time with you guys boleh jadi giler with our crazy antics and our crazy stuff which we do openly and closely. hahahah. no one should know. i will remember those times and memories that we had. never will i forget you girls. if we do tak ter-contact(choy lah) promise me you guys wont forget me. cause i know i wont. all the pictures and letters we write each other i will definitely keep it. remember our plans when dah tua for our anak to get married to each other. hahaah. lets stick to it.

Sha,when im busy and ignoring you dont think that i lupe you cause i havent. i've been with you my whole secondary school life and im not prepared to lose you just yet only when you're married to azry then you're already his milik not mine.heheeh. mesti sukekan? tgh senyum eh. hhahaa...blushing.ok stop it.serious! even when you have problems or bored or missing me and want to talk to me im only a call away and you know where i live. so come on down! dont be shy. if there's anything you need im here for you my baby! we're like twins remember? i can feel what you feel. so i know when you're feeling sad,happy,frustrated or whatever.. cause it doesnt matter all it matters I LOVE YOU! and will always do.

Naz, when im not there to solve your problems i hope you wont give up and look at another side of life and dont be to pessimistic. look at the bright side. i know i wont be there to monitor your studies(hahaha cehhh) but do concentrate and dont let anyone down especially yourself. you have to be strong. do not easily give up and take others criticism to much. cause they dont care about you. all they want is to see you fail and when they do they feel contented. so please do not think too much about it. i want you to suceeed. and whn you do open that children's home that you've been talking alot about. i want your dream to come true. and when it does! i'll be at the end smiling at you. i will cherish all our moments! you know I LOVE YOU! Im just a call away.

ps:/its deep down from my heart.

2009-01-15T00:16:00.003+08:00

i bet people are wondering about my O-level. hahahaha.. i did good. alhamdulillah. i wasnt happy about my results in the first place when i saw it. but then when people talk to me and making me look at the bright side of life. i felt better. as some may know i was crying the night before the results come out and the day the results come out. i was merely like a cry baby. hahaaha! alhamdulillah i got to apply for poly. lets hope i get INTO a poly now. lets take everything one step at a time. hahahah.
ooohh..
yesterday was my bestest giler fren's birthday.(ok following this post its not yesterday anymore, its like two days ago.its on the 13 lah hehehe.sorry) si ABDUL JALIL BIN SUNARIO. ceh.. dah turn 18 seh. leal lah tu.i bet he'll go chaotic as usual. as his usual self. the funny but down-to-earth guy.he'sthe best fren a girl can never ask for. and i didnt ask for him.he masok into my life. hahahah..he's the best. he's like a brother which i never had. its awkward to like call him abang all cause we're the same age only 9 monhs apart. and when people do believe that we're brother and sister its just super funny.cause the pregnancy period is during the 9 months. so calculate pple. hahahah. only some would actually understand what im writing. dah 2 tahun i know this bapok and he never stop to put a smile on my face. and i will guarantee he will continue to put a smile on my face even when im krepot. 2 bad luck years with him.can you imagine? oh god. so ironic. well he does give me problems dulu lah. alhamdulillah now its all gone. and everything's better and i hope it stays that way.i just wanna wish him again! HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY! and you know i always love you! :) your geek,bapok,giler,naughty,tak-nak-blajar,stone,bored,nice,funny,lepak guy. everything. keep putting a smile on my face my fren!

now im like through the poly courses which im eligible to take. oh gosh. im really nervous. im scared im school-less. like tak de skolah. i actually nangis when im like applying for a school. im so emotionalnow.mcm cry baby gitu. haahha! im going to try my utmost best to get into a good school. doa lah for me yes pple?thanks.greatly appreciated.

2009-01-12T21:33:00.006+08:00

its so much better to cry when you're just a little girl. no one will be asking what happen to you or why are you crying? no one will ask you questions whether you're doing fine? they will just leave you alone to cry whether its loud or silence.its so much better to cry when you're all alone. its so much better that people leave you alone when you cry when you're a little girl cause they know you're crying only because of a small thing like when you dont get what you want. but when years gone by and you grow older. crying is like a job. every thing that comes in your way or the outcome, it will definitely make you cry. and when you cry when you're much older, people will start asking questions and it'll be more harder to stop crying. its best if people just leave you alone to cry. but after all the tears are shed and what is only left are the red puffyness in your eyes, thats the time when you need someone to talk to and comfort you. thats the best after it all.

everything has been nice for me. my life, my frens. my family. everything. and i couldnt ask for anything better. but you can never be quite contented with what you have. and there's always that little thing you want. well right now all i want is to be lucky if i get into a polytechnic and get my diploma. i've not been feeling myself lately. it just scares me to know how hard growing up could be. all i want is to earse everything and stay as that cute,bubbly toddler who only knows how to spit,laugh,cry,eat,sleep and shit. well. its reality. stop dreaming. and there's that thing which i want. grabbing that momment making it mine. but how? its complicated. its tough. im just not myself. how hard it is to woo a guy this days. to capture the guy's heart. its been a long time since i did all that. and suddenly its coming back to me and its all surreal. i dont know where to begin. how to start. someone,anyone,anywho. pls teach me.

okay now im letting you guys watch one of my favourite cartoons. they are so cute. especially the blue one. i forgot the name ah! hhahha. well this will definitely cheer me up ah! and i love the voice ah. ish so cute! oh well just watch for your entertainment ok!

2009-01-10T00:01:00.006+08:00

MY NEW LOOK FOR 2009!(ok minus the gigi) hhaha. its not intend to be that way. the NERD. specs are back. hehehe. dah lame asik pakai contacts je. its time to bring out the specs. it gives more voom. hahaha.im bringing my normal house look to the public now. haahha! ok wells. ive been having weird mixed feelings. stress,confused,scared,happy and takut.

firstly its because my results are coming out in like 2 days time. its on monday. tak takut ke? i never wish this day would come so fast. i thought i had few more months of enjoyment.(ya allah dah tak pergi skolah for months je english dah fail) hehehe.im so anxious yet scared. my whole future can change in one day. either good or bad. seriously. tapi whats done cannot be undone. so i have to redha. breathe.. hoo hoo hoo. hee hee hee.(breathing exercise) hahaah!

secondly im just feeling tired ah. merepek kan? dah lah tak skolah and kerje but i feel tired. tido lamabt bangun early. tido cepat bangun lamabt. ape dah idayu. nonsense ah my body functioning now. hehehe. oh wells. im enjjoying my holiday. well spent. :)

oh oh oh. my new favourite accent is INDON!i swear bile orang berbual with me in that accent cair kau.. hehehe..gue suke banget. oh how i wish i could speak it. anyone care to teach me? well not only that language ah.. others also. spanish and french would be nice. heheeh. prasan! do tag eh if anyone interested in teaching me other accents. im a good student! heehhe

eh look at the time i post this post. its a minute past 12. cool ah! ok im excited. hahhha.. whatever.

ps:/ i still do think about you.always.

2009-01-03T20:28:00.002+08:00

i think i look happy. do you guys think i look happy? hhahha. i may not have everything i want but i still have people to fall back on. with my ups and downs. keep thinking about that moment. i dont know whether its real or just main-main. tapi i felt that feeling. oh crap. stop it idayu. no one wants to listen to your love-struck shit.i wonder who's reading my blog? is it even readable? i got many new year stuff to do! firstly get that height and body i've wanted and then get good grades and get into poly. then i think my life will start to change. new environment.
new people. ooohh.
oh! oh! oh! oh! my parents are coming home tonight. im so happy. going to pick them up at the airport later. yippee. its been a month plus since theyleft for haji. i miss them oh so much. well there are some stuff which is left untold to them. hehehe! but im glad they are coming home tonight. i get to hug my mom to sleep and see my dad ngorok in front of the tv late at night and denying he was asleep. so cute!

2009-01-03T02:09:00.006+08:00

Now I know I messed up bad
You were the best I ever had
I let you down in the worst way
It hurts me every single day
I'm dying to let you know

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend

So many things I would take back
You were the best I ever had
I don't blame you for hating me
I didn't mean to make you leave

have you ever thought that you regret breaking up with that someone? i dont think i regretted from breaking up with anyone i was with cause i feel that i havent found that perfect one. it was merely a trying out relationships all through out my secondary school life. yes, i may do have those i-like-you moments but i know it wasnt anything serious. and it couldnt go anyway. merely this song is about the guy regretting breaking up with her and just wishing to be her friend. i know i messed up alot in relationships the last time i was in. but i was young and didnt know anything and i had no helped from anyone and i learnt it all myself. right now i wouldnt say i regret it all but i learnt alot from the guys i dated(ok well i wouldnt say its alot cause its not) so dont think of me that way. im a good girl. but right now as its a new year. soon to be a year older i realise you would want to find that someone special in your life to share your moments with now. currently in my circle of friends and family everyone i know is attached. it sucks but i think im okay with it.i think now i want to date like a guy. there's no point in me holding on to this guy i really like but not going anyway. there's the signs and the moments but its just stagnant after that. i dont want waste my time anymore. its just one big bizarre love triangle. there's many fishes out there.(just an expression). so why am i sitting here waiting for this chance to happen when i can go out there and grab it myself. and chase after this feeling, this chance of finding a good guy for me. its not like im getting older or anything its just i feel that its the moment where you want to spend your happy,sad,angry,constipated,crappy and many more moments with someone.
currently now i know its stupid but im watching this video of 100 facts about a guy. im just bored and maybe it will make me understand more about guys. rather than i twist and twist and make it all complicated and get it out straight. hhaha! oh wells. there's no harm in trying that right now. go chase it! woohoo!

2009-01-01T22:49:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wow. very fast eh dah a new year. just yesterday was 2008. a year younger than today. there was many stuff happening in 2008. the ups and downs. many heartbreaks and many happy moments. some relationship and frenship failed some were renewed and some were found. hahaha!
well in this new year whatever im doing in 2008. im going to change it. im goin to be a better person than before. lagipun im turning 18. i know its not a big deal lah but its a legal age.

New Year resolutions.( im going to stick to it!)
1. Exercise and lose weight
2. Make more frens, open my circle of frens.
3. Spend less money
4. Get into poly.(insyallah)
5. Find that Mr ONE.
6. Be a good daughter/friend/sister.

2008-12-24T22:58:00.002+08:00

wow. dah lame seh since i blog.hmm.. i dont think i got stuff to write about. but i had many fun days. spend quality time with friends and family. alhamdulillah.
i still do miss my parents. after looking at their haji pictures posted on the trvel website. wow! betulnyer dah berubah seh both my mama and abah. abah now has gotten a bigger belly and my mom got a bright glow on her face and dont forget the sunglasses. puteri lilin. hahah. Good news. they are coming back soon. im so happy. wow time really flies. its already soon to be a month that they are actually off to haji. wow
funny thing. my fren actually asked me straight in the face why dont i have a guy in my life except for him and my other fren. sudden i know. i just said im not ready to get hurt again by the guy whom i might have feelings for. and he actually intended to introduce me to some guys. i would love it, yes but im not that type of girl who is so open in talking to guys. quite perservative. hahah. i think thats what it means oh wells. but im just not fully ready about the hurt part but everything else im okay! wells insyallah masuk poly they'll be lots and lots of guys. oh wells. tunggu je lah eh. psst.... my wish was to get to know a guy by new year. hahahh! funny kan i know? wth! just a simple wish. nothing else.

2008-12-19T00:04:00.002+08:00

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. its the best movie ever! i swear! its the funniest and most worth it movie. pergi tengok! the show is mainly about growing teenagers lah and the romantic period in their life. kalau like you are going through heartbreak now. then i think you shouldnt watch but if you are like single and free now and wish to have a moment of romanticness then maybe you can watch. like give the feeling.the guy is super hot in it i swear. meleleh. hhahah! the story is abt this girl who is an average looking girl who is like desperate of getting the boyfriend cause she feels left out. and then when the perfect guy comes around for her, he is attached. oh crap kan! i know. hahah thats what i feel too. but then she made the first move in introducing herself and all. and showing to him her trueself and thats when the guy realises he likes her alot. cause he feels she is perfect for him. and thats the best part. even after several makeovers she's done to improve herself for him. he still likes her for herself. and whenever she's with him, she will be in her goofiest moments. hahaha! thats the funny part. sometimes i think movie shows can really relate in our reality life. hmm.
oh i went for a major shopping marathon with my cousin tadi. and i swear i can just go giler with her. go around town patah balik and stuff and shop alot. i feel contented. dah lah i never buy anything kat kl only a pathetic wallet. which is nice. so i feel happy now! yay!hhahah. ok i have to totally watch the midnight movie of twilight! i plan to watch it just now but the latest timing was only freaking 9.30 which is super early. not a midnight midnight movie. dah plan to wear pjs and stuff. hahaha! update soon! (:

2008-12-10T22:33:00.003+08:00

wow. ok its not that long since i've blogged only like a few days je. 2008 nak kat end and 2009 is beginning. can you believe it. i know i cant. oh well i hope i get ti go countdown this year with frens. there's stuff i need to do during it. people to tell secrets too. cepat seh the year is ending.im still a kid. and i dont want to grow up ok well maybe a bit lah. but there's still so much for me to do now. i'll be 18 next year. thats a plus sign for me. mcm bagus gitu ah. hahaha! legal baby. hehehe. you know people usually wirte down their new year resolutions. i always intend to write one tapi tak dapat tulis pun. well i think this year will be different. i may actually write a new year resolution and actually do it. hhahah. now i got to take a pen and paper and do some thinking for the perfect resolutions. i must must really do it.
oh yea. alhamdulillah. finally i dapat pergi holiday at this weekend. yes. i get to go shopping kat kl. i know its not far tapi at least dapat kluar singapore. like finally. shopping. and more shopping. and more more shopping. eating. and eating. and more more eating. hahaha. swim, shop and eat. well thats what i usually do during holidays. tak sabar. yippee! i sound more like a 7 year-old girl than a 17 year-old girl.

psst. i still do miss my parents. :(

2008-12-09T00:31:00.004+08:00

am i like cursed or something? hahhaha. there's like so much Love involve around me. everyone whom i know and are close to, is either attached or dating someone. i am like the only one left? left on top of the very high high shelf where no ones even want to see or touch. kesian. damn it. how i wish this thing will turn and maybe i do find someone amazing soon. someone just right for me. not the perfect one. but just the one.
my eyes are puffy now. cried when my parents called. i really miss them seh. seriously i do. ALOT. i know sometimes you wish they werent there to call or nag you to come home or to not do this. but they actually cared for you and wants what's best for you. and i miss my mom's nagging and my dad's constant jokes. it cracks me up each time. and today hari raya haji actually falls on my mom's birthday. she turned 45! i cant be there to spend it with her as she's busy with her pilgrimage. wow. amazing english. just a nice birthday song for my Mom.

Happy Birthday To You.
Happy Birthday To You.
Happy Birthday To Mama.
Happy Birthday To You.

2008-12-07T00:13:00.002+08:00

I wanna make love right na na na
I wanna make up right na na na
Wish we never broke up right na na na
we need to link up right na na na

Okay i know the first line of this song is very macam merepek. but the third line is where it all hits me. ini kan lagu break up. hahaha! have you ever regretted breaking up with that someone? well i know i have. It happen when i was in sec 3. well mesti ah.. i was still in the studious mood asik nak blajar je. thats why i wasnt ready for any relationship but to think of it now. he was amazing to me. like the perfect guy who would do anything for me. and i mean it. oh and i was the first girl who made him cry. touching kan. but i was so stupid at that time that i had to break up with him. well random post lah. but for a while i do regret it but the now tengok balik i dont regret it cause i know i willl find that special guy soon. kan dulu secondary 3 gitu mesti all you think about was school kan. maybe not to all but to me yes thats why i broke up with him. kesiankan. kalau i stay on i think we could last. hahah. right? with me being the gf? ye lah tu. i think im the one with problems. and its true. i have a problem of commitment. i cant commit to a relationship longer than like what 5 months gitu? pathetic kan!?! haiyer.
tapi itu dulu. i think? watch all this love movie and tengok all this geli-nak-muntah-darah couples make me jealous. yes i do admit it. it makes me jealous. like hello? i've been single for 2123058 months. hahah exaggerate je? of course mesti ade that part of jealousy in you where you wish it would be you instead of her. tak baikkan?! oh no! stop it idayu. but well i do miss it sometimes. those late night calls where he will entertain your nonsense malam-malam, those sayang msges, those send you home and fetch you, those cute walks. siape tak miss kan? ok i dont know why im being so lovey dovey. this is so not me. i swear. i think its because i was watching this stupid love story lah. darn it lah idayu. asal kau tengok cite love? what to do? bored ape. i need something to entertain myself kan?!? apart from going out with my frens with our super long hours of catch-up marathon. berbual non-stop. ala just give us a cup of coffee, milo or drink of any kind and three seats we can just sit there like berjam-jam and talk non-stop i tell you. about anything and everything and even people watch. fun! oh updating about myself now rather than nonsense shit. i've been exercising alot this days. gym, run, swim. wow. for like berbulan-bulan i havent exercise suddenly turn back to exercising super sudden change to my body. hahaha. but its refreshing. shiok. especially the running and swimming. i love it. i feel lighter already! hahaha! ok well as you see the time its 12+ and im suppose to be asleep but im not even though i spend like half a day at the swimming pool with cousins and aunties swimming and playing. like hello idayu! you're suppose to tired. but i dont know why im not. macam energetic gitu. ya Allah. bagus pula my body. but i do need my beauty sleep lah. holiday pun boleh dapat eyebags eh. hahaha merepek. toodles. i need some shut eye. i think?

2008-12-06T00:50:00.002+08:00

ok. i want to say that I AM THE MOST CLUMSIEST KLUTZ EVER to siape-siape who knows me. i tripped. i fell. i spill. i knocked. everything that you can think of a clumsy person like me. seriously. irritating seh. some seh ade meaning bagus to it. tapi macam bullshit gitu kan? hahaha. oh i had a nice exercise day today with bi. i needed it. like totally. for like 15489456198 years or months since i run. and tadi run for 20 mins kat treadmill dah pancit. oh gosh. dulu i got banyak stamina. must really continue. bi was super ON lah tadi. angkat weight all. nak muscles katekan. Toned body baby!i do appreciate what i have i just want to improve it tak salahkan? not like thos skinny asses. dah lah badan lawa then think they all gemuk all. oh pls! banyak BULLSHIT. just be happy with what God dah kasi lah?! durh. oh i finally watch alvin and the chipmunks. klakar dok. ahhaah. seriously. oh oh. Bis coming over to have movie marathon. like finally after 10000 years kiter plan. okay i want to snooze. tmr busy day or is it today? im lame now. dah ngantuk. heeheh

2008-12-04T22:14:00.004+08:00

No matter what I do....
All I think about is you
Even when You're with your Boo
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you

my new current favourite song. ok wells i know ini song lama. but still ade meaning okay. sometimes the lyrics i post has something to do with my life right now. well i can now say that this lyrics does have something to do with my life right now. tapi i will just diam-diam about it and pretend its all a lie as usual. but maybe soon this diam-diam thingy will have to go lah. meaning that i will have to let it out soon. since 2008 is ending soon. i think i will tell it before the year ends. cause when 2009 comes everything must be change for me and my life. new me, new attitude, new crushes, new environment. rebuild the new me! let the past be the past. well i seriously nak change my life now. you people will be the judge of it okay1 macam style by jury gitu. hahh cool kan?
okay i know i said im keeping my options open about dating guys tapi all the guys i seem to be talking to really bores me. tak de chemistry langsung not those wow-i-like-you chemistry lah or the first-look chemistry but the chemistry of having a fun time chatting together. most of them just tanye random stuff over and over again. like hello? when i want to kenal-kenal with you it means i really want to get to know you not those macam how are you? what you doing? tak boring ke?!?! every guy i talk to you ask the same questions over and over again. Astarghfirullah. am i asking for alot? i dont think so lah pls. i want entertainment. cause boring kan if you talk to someone then like the person say the same thing everyday. give lah excitement ke pe? am i dreaming? of course not. this is reality.
ok now im trying to watch movies online. boring tau duduk rumah with nothing to do. seriously. but lucky i do have dates with my frens. enjoy sikit before they all start working. oh i want to catch up with all my dulu-dulu frens. seriously. to whoever i know reading this! please call me and we can go out and catch up! i miss you guys. well actually i dont know who reading this lah. oh wells. we'll see. but my tag board betul dah mati like totally gone. i need pple to revive it back. ala anyone jsut tag lah. give some fun entertainment into my life now. ok for now thats it. and Selamat Hari Raya Adil Adha. (i think?) hari raya haji is coming. hehehe (:

2008-12-02T23:21:00.002+08:00

i know i usually post with lyrics but im currently not listening to any song new. as im not in the music mood now. as some may know my parents are doing their haji pilgrimage this year. and i miss them terribly. they'll be gone for like a month. and its only me and my sister at home. i dont understand why everyone thinks that we cant jage ourselves. like hello. my sister is 20 and im 17. we are not budak-budak anymore. of course yes we do have our mishaps and stuff. but we can do it slowly. and both of us are trying to cook. pandai-pandai lah. but now since im not working im planning all my days going out since my relationship with frens are terrfic for some i guess. but alhamdulillah its better than before. well heck lah if i cant spend holiday with a right guy. but as i know now. keeping my options open. tak nak jadi dead fish again. dah penat tau. hhahaha officially now i declare being dateable. hahah. tgk-tgk kan lah for the mr perfect. (:

2008-11-18T23:22:00.002+08:00

lets do some quiz.

1. do you have secrets?
of course. who doesnt right?

2. Would you fall in love with a boy who's younger than you?
nah. i dont think so.

3. Do you enjoy going to school?
yea. i do learn stuff and meet my friends.

4. what will you do if you have a billion $?
Ka-Ching! hahaha. idk.

5. will you fall in love with your best friend?
if its fate then why not.

6. being loved or loving someone is more blessed?
Being loved.

7. Are you happy?
well yea. i have my family and friends around me.

8. if a person you like is secretly attached what will you do?
like him in silence. what else can you do?1?

9. Is there anyone that has made you extremely happy?
Nope. Not Yet. i wish though.

10. What makes you angry?
Being a dead fish.

11. HOw would you see yourself in 10 years time?
Married? full force career baby! (:

12. Who is currently most important people to you?
Family and Friends.

13. Most important thing in life now?
well for now currently assuring my parents a safe journey to haji.

14. Would you prefer single and rich or married and poor?
can i ask how poor? i would love to be married. but single is good too. idk?

15. Favourite colours?
RED. (:

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
after 6 months into it. yes!

17. Would you forgive and forget a grave mistake your love has done?
depends.

18. What do you want to tell the person you love?
i'll be loving you long time.

19. If the person you love no longer loves you, will you still love him?
i dont think so. its time to move on.whats the point of clinging on. right?

20. HOw do you feel now?
Contented.

2008-11-09T23:10:00.002+08:00

ku pernah punya cinta namun kini ku sedang suka kamu
cintaku dulu tlah kubuang jauh kini ku ingin kamu

ku pernah menyendiri di sini ku akan terasa sepi
walaupun bibir penuh gelak tawa namun hatiku sepi

jangan bilang tidak bila kita belum mencoba
siapa yang tahu akan sama hatimu dan juga hatiku
banyak yang bercinta bertahun-tahun putus juga
kuharapkan dengan dirimu walaupun singkat pendekatan
cinta kita kan abadi

jangan bilang tidak waktu dicium aku bingung
namun dada ini bergetar
makanya sungguh aku mohon
jangan bilang tidak

i think this is my first time posting a malay song in my blog. well technically its not a malay song. its indon. and im currently addicted to it now. hahah. ive been a bit free this few days so have been watching movies of all genres. this particular indon movie is about 5 friends falling in love with their own best friend. i know its typical. but whatever. isnt it strange to fall in love with your best fren when you know inside out about the person. i dont know some may feel its okay. i just feel its weird. there are boundaries in a boyfriend and best friend. there's this particular line in the song where they sang in malay that is that you fall in love over and over again but in the end it leads to heartbreak. well hhahah. i so believe in that. you never know when that real love or real my right is coming and you constantly fall in love over and over again and get your heart break over and over again. sometimes there's no one to blame except yourself. then in the last verse they said when you feel in love you heart pounds like 10000000 times per second and makes your heart and mind spin like a crazy person which makes your knees weak and your whole body melt. i guess thats the feeling someone should get when they fall in love with that mr right. even though you're meeting him for a while or a long while that feeling of nervous and excitedness should always feel your heart. cause thats when you know you're in love.
hhahh i feel like some doctor love or something. mcm banyak experience gitu. but oh pls. im just saying my thoughts about it. with whatever lyrics i find my thought will run really REALLY wild. im off to watching more movies. (:

2008-11-07T00:08:00.002+08:00

sigh. shouldnt people be stressing over school or other important stuff. well im currently now stressing over this prom. im so dead. cause i cant fine anything nice. well it may be because im choosy. but wouldnt you want to look pretty on that day. like hello. i just want it to be over. then im just off to rest and rest. well maybe i'll start working. im not sure. still thinking. but all i know i need lots of frens to go out with. i swear if not im just bored.
im coming back to exercising. hello running. i love it. takes my problems and stress away. hahaha. oh god. i saw that ass like twice. i was super shocked. but whatever. i shouted oh my god right in his face. well not merely in front of his face just merely shouted. god. i wanted to gag. of all times. like Now? why?
well i have a new fetish. this amazingly beautiful song by beyonce.

If I were a boy, even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it
Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken so they think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful, waiting for me to come home
To come home

cool song. i love it. just imagine you as a guy. i think i will be a great guy and maybe i wouldnt hurt any girl. well i said maybe. but perhaps i will understand them better. you know we all should switch roles and maybe take the lead as a guy one day. just feel how they feel. and tell them off about all the things they are doing to girls. hahaahha

2008-10-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

i have been spending my study breaks watching the hills. hahah i know i told myself and poeple i didnt want any drama but it seems nice to watch other people's drama. there was this scene from an episode that stephanie which is lauren's good fren dated lauran's ex boyfren. so obviously there is drama there. to some it may not be an issue but seriously dating your best fren or good fren ex boyfren is a total no-no. hahah then there's this episode whereby they all were dating out different men to see which is like the ultimate ones. and they feel that normal guys are boring.they want adventure. maybe to othr girls having an adventure for a bf is fun rather than the usuals like dinner and movies. its cliche. like seriously many guys need to think of other ways to bring a girl out to date. come on. if its a first date obviously first impression counts. surprise her, make her feel like she's the happiest person. talking bout this its been very very long since i've been on a date. i guess thats how i get to think alot about my very own first dates.dreaming of it and all. haha im such a loser. but wth its for my thrills. i dont mind. ok im done i got to get beck to studying. i need to burn more midnight oil. and i got many more papers to go. hahah wish me luck. tomy fellow friends. Good Luck.